it's an overcast saturday, early afternoon. I'm listening to DNTO on the radio, CBC's hipsterish saturday afternoon show. oh, and I've been reading The Thornbirds - it's like watching a really long, schlocky movie, but it works your brain a bit more, what with the reading and such. I found it at the Salvation Army store the other day (69 cents, how could I say no?), so I'm reading it. Or, more honestly, re-reading it. Did not everyone read this book in their teenage years? I did. I remember that it even made me cry. I'm at page five hundred something and I have yet to cry. Old age has hardened me so.

I have also been trying to write an abstract for a conference application, but just realized that I don't want to actually go to the conference. (for god's sake, it's in *winnipeg*. and i just don't have the cash to warrant *that*. hehe haha.) So I have given myself fully to the trashy novel and should be finished quite soon. Then I'll turn to more academic things. Er. I hope. All I want to do lately is read novels, lots of novels. I've got call numbers written down of all kinds of 'classics' that I can get out from the school library, but I'm avoiding taking those books out for fear of neglecting what I should be doing. Which is not reading novels.

Other things:
What about the life of blogs? People create them, write them and let them go from time to time or just give them up completely. I'd like to think a blog is like a good friend, and even if you don't write or talk to them for a long time, you can always come back to them and things will be okay, things could even be just like you'd spoken with them the other day instead of a year ago. That's what I'd hope. I may be cynical, but dammit, I'm still an optimist.

now we are 29...

and ever so clever, yet feeling kinda guilty about it. hahaha. i had a birthday party and lots of people came out in the freezing cold to wish me all sorts of birthday goodness. the Twin Peaks theme turned out to be well-chosen. a friend shaved off his beard and kept the mustache so that he could be Pete ("a fish seemed to take a likin' to my percolator") and holy cow did he look like him - he even died his hair and slicked it down. brilliant. another friend showed up extremely late and managed to achieve exactly the same level of drunkness i had achieved (which was: the most drunk people at the party, oh yeah) - he was dressed as Leland Palmer, cardigan and craziness, and he made me dance with him. i was dressed as audrey, with the plaid skirt, sweater set and high heels. then my Leland friend put on a blonde wig and as if things weren't lynchian enough, started to pontificate about the montreal metro system. again, brilliant.

so now i am 29 and it feels pretty good. i think that today is the last day of my cold, but it's hard to tell just how sick i am b/c i believe i have the beastly 2-day hangover. aagh. i intended to be a good hostess and not drink too much, stick with my whisky and soda, y'know, but then people gave me alcohol (why do people always do that?) and there was coffee (twin peaks theme, yes) and there was some really good liquer to go in the coffee. and then there was a lot of wine just layin' around... i certainly crossed my line of excess. you know, once crossed there is no stopping me and it's all booze, drugs and falling down. thankfully i was surrounded by friends who were there both to catch me before i hit the floor and wrestle the bottles of red wine from my surprisingly strong grasp.

parties are fun.

and also: i miss the gym. being sick, i didn't go yesterday or today. not b/c i'm lazy and using illness as an excuse, but b/c i fear fainting on the treadmill or, worse, under 50-plus pounds of weight. oh, or throwing up in either situation. that would all suck.

but yeah, the gym was closed on monday due to a pipe having burst somewhere. so i didn't even get to go on monday. so here i am at home, sick and laying around with no energy. and i miss the gym. i will go friday. everything's gonna be o-kay.... (freak.)

oh, wait, of course there are things to complain about. hahaha. no, not complain, just muse about with a grimace on my face. like: all this talk of love today. on the radio, on tv, in my course readings, everywhere. and not just about relationships but about "true love". so, therefore, i've been thinking about that today and it's tough. b/c it makes me think about my bluddy fucking identity and self-doubt and things like that. ergh. However, as Oprah said (one has to watch oprah when sick; it's a rule), these things, such as heartbreak and self-doubt, happen to almost everyone, and though you feel like you're alone in it when it's happening to you, you know it's happened to many many other people. whoo, suffering! hahar. but you know, it happens. i just hope everyone's getting some good art out of it.

No, I haven't forgotten my blog password.

I am full of decaf earl grey tea. blarrgh. I am also full of some really good cauliflower curry-type soup I made. Damn good. I had to make soup with lots of spices b/c yesterday I woke up with a sore throat. aaaagh. This is the first time I've been 'sick' since August. I'm not going to admit that I'm sick though, hence the quotation marks. I think I'm even feeling better now, what with all the soup and tea. (and chocolate pudding. with coconut on top.)

Also, I can't be sick because Saturday is my *birthday*. whoo! Not only is it my birthday, but it's my 29th birthday. *And* I'm having a party. *And* it's a Twin Peaks party! i'm all excited. I'm still deciding on who to be though: a dead laura palmer, a sultry yet naive audrey horne, or agent cooper. i'm leaning towards laura just for sheer creep-out factor. I mean, Twin Peaks was so much about that creepiness. I just re-watched the pilot and the first 5 episodes and had to cover my eyes a few times so as to avoid having the image of Bob re-burned into my brain again. I mean, it's there, but it's faded. So when I caught a glimpse of the scene where he's hiding at the end of laura's bed and grinning, well, I guess that glimpse was enough to re-traumatize me. oh well. it was worth it. er.

In other news, I've been cutting back on my tv-watching. Even American Idol can't keep me in front of the tube these days. I'm hunkering down to do all kinds of academic-like werk. i've got a lot to do. So I've made a few decisions re: tv. that is, only watch shows I really want to watch and try really really hard not to watch more than two hours in a row. I rarely do that anyway, but sometimes thursday nights get me. holy crap, i even talk too much about tv.

"the o.c.", however, remains good, solid entertainment. and "nip/tuck", well, if you didn't see it last week (which i believe was the season finale), you missed some awesome television. slickness. and i will stop now.

i'm also sitting in on a feminist media theory class (i'm technically finished all my course credits, so i'm just doing the readings and going to class but not having to worry about being graded. nice.) so yeah, that's interesting and relevant to what i'm researching. good stuff. still, i hope some fights break out in class. that'd be cool.

other things: I'm still going to London in April for a couple weeks and am still excited. whoo! london! my best friend is having a baby, which is great and exciting in itself. also, my brother is going to rome to run a marathon (for diabetes - he's diabetic) and will fly up to london for a few days while i'm there. i haven't seen him in well over a year, so that's also super exciting. so now i just have to work out where he can stay - hoping that nice london-dwelling friends will offer their floor or couch. I haven't yet asked people though. I'll probably need that couch/floor myself while in London, as I'll need to let my friend plus baby and husband be alone some days/nights. ah, well, such is trip-planning. i hate asking for favours though... (damn my independent streak.)

so, while i'm sick and busy with school and the magazine i edit and such, i'm in decent spirits. i'm also going to start reading a pynchon book. and make a few cds for a friend in need of new music. there is nothing to complain about. :)